I don’t much care if you breastfed your kid until they started kindergarten, or if you fed them formula from day one. I don’t really care if you turned your infant car-seat forward-facing prior to age 2, or if you homeschool, or if you send your kids to daycare while you go to work. Do you cosleep? Did you circumcise your son? I DON’T CARE. Do you babywear? Push your kid around in a stroller? Use a leash for your kid at Disneyland? Whatever. Good for you.
When it comes to issues of motherhood, there is one issue I care about: some kids don’t have one. All of these petty wars about the choices of capable, loving mothers is just a lot of white noise to me, Quite honestly, I’m often astonished at the non-essential parenting issues I see moms getting their panties in a wad about. Particularly when there are so many kids in this world not being parented at all.
1 week down…..about a million more to go
So needless to say we didnt get to ease into parenthood. The kids were dropped off at about 10:30pm last friday night and life has been a whirlwind ever since! They have adjusted fairly well considering what they’ve been through. Daycare drop offs are hard and bedtime is hard. But there are so many smiles and laughs throughout the day that it makes the tears worth while. We’ve been trying to get them into our routine and we are getting there day by day! But this life is all new to them….and to us. So we are all adjusting.
Our 18month old girl “Punkin” has a smile that melts your heart and makes all of my stress and exhaustion dissipate.
Our 3 year old girl “Diva” is literally a princess. Currently she is Princess Anna (from frozen). Life seems to revolve around her.
And our 7 year old has yet to have a nickname. I still haven’t figured him out yet. He’s smart and sweet and considerate of his sisters. And his favorite words are “I love you”. But he’s also sneaky and knows what to say to get his way. He is a junk food fanatic and almost cleaned out our pantry by day 2! But thats all 7 year olds i believe.
Later today when hubby gets home from work we are going to venture out to Kohls with their clothing vouchers and get them all new wardrobes :)
The First Night….
…was a success!! We had some tears from one of the girls. But by 12:30 we were finally all in bed sleeping :)
I hear some stirring over the baby monitor but I’m gonna give them a few more minutes to wake up and try to remember where they are before i go in the bedroom :)
Kids are coming! Kids are coming!!!!
What?!?! We got a call!! We are getting kids!! This is actually happening!! I cannot believe this is actually happening!!!! They will be here tonight!
Oh my goodness!!!!
Licensed to… love, protect, heal, strengthen, comfort, teach, uplift, encourage, nourish, guide, inspire, cherish, FOSTER.
I’m doing my best, please be understanding. Please be gentle. Please don’t rush me…
Well, it’s unfortunate that I have to type these words, but the system sucks, and clearly we were misled. The boys’ caseworker found a different family for the boys. Even after we were “promised” them, our visits were stopped and were placed on hold.
Something that we learned about the system is that NOTHING is for sure. These caseworkers are not our friends. They don’t really care about Foster familes as much as they only care about the kids they have to place. Which I do understand to an extent.
So here we are, back at square 1.
Licking our wounds.
And waiting for a call for more kids.
Such is the life of a foster parent though….
Faster than hello, such a painful goodbye.
But even though it’s over, I can’t unlove you.
So tonight was our second visit with our boys but this time at our house instead of their temp fp’s home! They were so much fun! We made the biggest mess out of the toy room lol!!
So after more time with them and getting to know their individual personalities, I was finally able to come up with their blog names!
The youngest, age 2, is the cutest and tiniest little peanut!
So for him…. Little Bit
The middle, age 3, is the roughest and toughest little fighter. His fists are always ready for a rumble!
So for him…. Rocky
Now the oldest, age 4, was a tough one to name. He is very sensitive. He’s intelligent. Well mannered. He’s compassionate, not a fighter, even though he is protective over his brothers. But, he would rather cuddle with a book and put a puzzle together in silence than run around crazy with his rambunctious brothers.
So for him…. Dolphin
Our life has begun
So I have been relatively quiet on here for a while. A lot of things were up in the air with our license. We were out of the loop for almost a month! Until the day I came home to our official license from DCFS in the mail. It felt like our life had finally begun!
Almost immediately we were approached by our Licensing Worker about a preadoptive sibling set. She didnt have much info besides the fact that they were biracial brothers ages 2, 3, & 4.
First off, you have to understand that hubby and I are dreamers. That’s both the beauty and the demise of us. We have excellent imaginations when it comes to our future and we can always dream up the best of the best, even if it seems irrational to everyone else. It’s just how we were made! So it only took us about 3 seconds to tell our worker YES!! Then began some more intense waiting and rearranging of the bedrooms as our worker tried to get a hold of their worker, and to no avail, the supervisor, until finally she came back to us with instructions to contact the current foster parents to arrange a day and time for us to meet our boys!
Last night was that night. We met our boys! And, yes, I say ‘Our’ because we both feel like they are already ours. They attached to us very quickly. They gave us snuggles and kisses and hugs. They wanted hubby to stay the night even! And despite what people told us, we went in with our whole heart unguarded and instantly fell in love with them.
Foster care/adoption is not easy. Plainly, foster care sucks! The whole thing is just aweful for everyone involved. Parents lose their babies, babies lose their parents, foster parents lose their minds!! Everyones life just gets so screwed up! But somehow, somewhere, love still remains. Some parents will fight with all they have to get their babies back. And some feel too defeated to even try. In the middle of the chaos lies a little life that still needs a home and the loving embrace of a mother and the gentle hands of a father. My hope for myself, being a foster parent, is that this will never be about what I want, but will completely be about putting families back together like God intended them to be.
Our own little family was ripped apart by miscarriages. And i truly feel like these boys are a gift to us from God to give back what the devil has stolen from us. I don’t know exactly when they will be able to come home to us, but one thing is definately for sure, hubby and I are ready! They were born in our unguarded hearts and we will continue to wait and pray for them everyday!
This is one of my favorite little comics on here.
This is me.
There’s nothing wrong with extroverts, and nothing “superior” about being an introvert, but this is exactly how I feel when I go to parties.
I honestly do enjoy being by myself more than being with a crowd of people.