I keep asking God,
"You know this hurts, right?"
As if He is unaware that this season is difficult for me.
As if He doesn’t know everything about me, every last detail.
As if He doesn’t know His very own daughter’s feelings.
As if my reminding Him of how uncomfortable this is, how much pain my heart is in, is going to change His plan for my good and His best for me.
This is incredibly beautiful
The holidays. Ugh! Amiright? Crazy consumerism, frenzied preparations, and the expectation to suddenly transform into Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart/Paula Dean. It’s overwhelming and insane.
I love it.
I love the food, the endless wine, baking cookies and pies, finding and chopping down the…
Episode 20: Clarity
This morning, my Facebook feed is 70% filled with snide posts from parents complaining that they didn’t get their extra hour of sleep from Daylight Savings due to their kids waking up early.
I especially like the post that says “Extra hour of sleep they say….must be for those people who don’t have kids.”
Yes…poor you…being woken up the baby you conceived for free without needles or anesthesia. I feel so sorry for you…because you know, it’s not like this early-waking phase will be temporary or anything.
I am just SO lucky to get that extra hour of sleep (which I didn’t even have) because I don’t have kids, right? When I’m old and grey and don’t have any grandchildren to spoil and am alone for holidays, I’m sure I will look back and say to myself, “Good thing I miscarried and all those thousands of dollars of infertility treatments did work, because I got all those extra hours of sleep during Daylight Savings!”
Just HAD to repost! Thank you for this!
Think about your words people!!!!
The woman on the left is a mother from Miami who was so desperate to feed her hungry family that she was trying to steal a lot of food.
The woman on the right is Miami-Dade County Police Officer Vicki Thomas. Officer Thomas was about to arrest Jessica Robles but changed her mind at the last minute.
Instead of arresting her, she bought Robles $100 worth of groceries:
“I made the decision to buy her some groceries because arresting her wasn’t going to solve the problem with her children being hungry.”
And there’s no denying they were hungry. Robles’ 12 year old daughter started crying when she told local TV station WSVN about how dire their situation was:
“[It’s] not fun to see my brother in the dirt hungry, asking for food, and we have to tell him, ‘There is nothing here.’”
Officer Thomas says she has no question that what she did was right:
“To see them go through the bags when we brought them in, it was like Christmas. That $100 to me was worth it.”
But Officer Thomas did have one request:
“The only thing I asked of her is, when she gets on her feet, that she help someone else out. And she said she would.”
And guess what? The story gets even better.
After word got out about what happened people donated another $700 for Jessica Robles to spend at the grocery store.
And then best of all a local business owner invited her in for an interview and ended up hiring her on the spot as a customer service rep.
She started crying when he told her:
“There’s no words how grateful I am that you took your time and helped somebody out. Especially somebody like me.”
And to think it all started with one veteran police officer trusting her “instinct” instead of going “by the book”.
Wow this story…. THIS is Jesus
Or in my case 5 in 6 pregnancies.
And I’m not alone. Please reblog for me and all those couples who think they are alone in this.
3 out of 5 here.
2 of 3
2 out of 3
3 out of 3. Way over my fair share and ready for a different outcome, please and thank you.
2 out of 2
"Why don’t you just adopt?"
“There are a lot of children out there that need a home, you should just adopt!”
“Oh you’re infertile? You should just adopt”
This is a painful feeling for me. As a childless mother. To have a hope deep inside that a child is taken away from their world and placed in mine… How selfish is that? That I cannot have a child of my own and the desire of having another mother’s baby in my arms is so overwhelming that it makes me wonder if I’m even worthy of a foster child’s love. Foster care is about helping to strengthen families and bringing safety to the homes of hurting children, not about removing children from the only life they know just so I can somehow try to fill this emptiness in my own heart. But the immense pain I feel everytime I come home to an empty house, void of laughter, and dirty fingerprints on the walls, and spots on the furniture… It’s sometimes so much to bear that I sit in my car and imagine what my life would be like if my two little ones never left me. Oh, how life would be different with two toddlers… People who have that crazy blessing of a toddler tend to laugh at me when I say that I want that chaos. I want it to take an extra hour to get ready for the day because I have to feed and dress a toddler. They tell me I’ll change my mind when that day comes, and even so, they wouldn’t truly want their life any different than that same chaos because that would mean their child would no longer exist. And no parent would ever wish that on their life. Not even those parents that society deems as unfit really WANT their children gone from their lives. So what does this say about me, and about my heart? Is it full of selfishness? Does this feeling make me a bad person? Or…perhaps…am I grieving the loss of my opportunity of biological parenting? Yes, the latter is what I believe. Adoption is not JUST a simple alternative to a diagnosis of infertility. Adoption is it’s own way of life all in itself. It’s nothing like biological parenting. There is a past, a seperate identity and family history, a story left unsaid, behind that little person’s eyes, that will one day change that child’s life forever. There will be questions that I won’t be able to answer. There will be challenges that no one I know will be able to help me help my little person overcome. Because adoption isn’t JUST simple. It’s complexity has stopped me in my tracks. I see life differently because I have seen a tiny glimmer of this world from behind the fostering perspective. And nothing about this option is Just..that simple. And it is not an option for every family whether infertile or not. It shouldn’t be taken so lightly. Because there lies a life behind those mounds of paperwork and hoops you are required to jump through. There is a purpose behind fostercare and adoption, and it cannot come from selfish intentions. Because it’s just…not the same as just…having a biological child
He might not know it, but Michael Bublé accidentally wrote my infertility anthem, and sometimes I play it as loud as my speakers will go and dance around my house.
Excerpt from the lyrics:
"I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck
Wherever you are, whenever it’s right
You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life
And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
And somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet”
Can’t even sing the whole thing without crying. :’)
This! Its perfect! :’)
…… I’ll never hear this song the same way again!! :)
You are a mother even when you are pregnant. You are a mother when you choose adoption. You are a mother when you have a miscarriage. Be proud.
Except it would be mascato lol