Journey Through Life
The hardest thing to witness was the pain in my husbands eyes on fathers day as my brother and dad were opening up their fathers day gifts and cards. We went into the bedroom and he tearfully said (with a pouted lip might I add) “I wanted to open fathers day presents”… My heart sank and a lump rose in my throat as I fought back tears. I felt like, for the first time, my husband was outwardly grieving our Angels. I hated that he knew the pain that I feel. If it weren’t for our financial situation right now, I would have gotten him fathers day presents from our Angels! But it surely isn’t the same as receiving it from silly smiles and tiny fingers; cards written with love in backwards letters and little circles. (Anyone around toddlers know what I mean). When I saw this “e-card” on facebook, it prompted me to write this blog post. Throughout our 27 months of TTC, I’ve had numerous people say this to me. “You can take mine and you won’t want kids after that”. “You can have mine! I have had enough of them today!”. Or the famous posts that I see constantly, “Anyone want any kids? I’m getting rid of mine!”. I know parenting a child is hard. It’s work. Constant hard work. I’m sure there are days where ya’ll are ready to rip your hair out and kick your kids to the curb! But from the prospective of a childless parent, it’s like a kick in the teeth. To us, it seems like you are taking advantage of what you have. We see the blessings before you, but you don’t. And if you offer me your kids one more time, I’ll get a lawyer to draw up some papers and I’ll devote my life to what you aren’t appreciating! lol Not literally of course. But inside that’s what I’m screaming! It isn’t just days like fathers day that bring a sting to Infertile families. It’s every single holiday. It’s summer days at the beach. It’s a vacation at Disney. It’s a trip to the zoo. It’s going to the grocery store or the mall. The sting is all around us. It’s pregnancy announcements, baby showers, births, birthday parties, a trip to the park! It’s a daily reminder that we are silently suffering but are expected to smile! It’s the fight to gleam when we have to watch other fathers open up handwritten cards made from love by tiny fingers in backwards letters and circles. 

The hardest thing to witness was the pain in my husbands eyes on fathers day as my brother and dad were opening up their fathers day gifts and cards. We went into the bedroom and he tearfully said (with a pouted lip might I add) “I wanted to open fathers day presents”… My heart sank and a lump rose in my throat as I fought back tears. I felt like, for the first time, my husband was outwardly grieving our Angels. I hated that he knew the pain that I feel. If it weren’t for our financial situation right now, I would have gotten him fathers day presents from our Angels! But it surely isn’t the same as receiving it from silly smiles and tiny fingers; cards written with love in backwards letters and little circles. (Anyone around toddlers know what I mean). When I saw this “e-card” on facebook, it prompted me to write this blog post. Throughout our 27 months of TTC, I’ve had numerous people say this to me. “You can take mine and you won’t want kids after that”. “You can have mine! I have had enough of them today!”. Or the famous posts that I see constantly, “Anyone want any kids? I’m getting rid of mine!”. I know parenting a child is hard. It’s work. Constant hard work. I’m sure there are days where ya’ll are ready to rip your hair out and kick your kids to the curb! But from the prospective of a childless parent, it’s like a kick in the teeth. To us, it seems like you are taking advantage of what you have. We see the blessings before you, but you don’t. And if you offer me your kids one more time, I’ll get a lawyer to draw up some papers and I’ll devote my life to what you aren’t appreciating! lol Not literally of course. But inside that’s what I’m screaming! It isn’t just days like fathers day that bring a sting to Infertile families. It’s every single holiday. It’s summer days at the beach. It’s a vacation at Disney. It’s a trip to the zoo. It’s going to the grocery store or the mall. The sting is all around us. It’s pregnancy announcements, baby showers, births, birthday parties, a trip to the park! It’s a daily reminder that we are silently suffering but are expected to smile! It’s the fight to gleam when we have to watch other fathers open up handwritten cards made from love by tiny fingers in backwards letters and circles. 

  1. biesha said: i’m sorry for you’re guy’s loss love. and i m continuing to pray but remember that God has a plan and as long as you stick close to him and he WILL give you the desires of your heart. just remember sara she was 99
  2. h-hopkins posted this